so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
