the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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