um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
