its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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