Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
zippers are such a cool invention
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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