Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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