Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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