3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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