You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
His nipple licking is glorious
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