I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
