If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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