I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
