just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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