At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
