dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have already put on my inside pants.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
