My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I love you.
Bad choice
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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