I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
