Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
