Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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