Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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