I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
