i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
