I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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