I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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