I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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