She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
