My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
