what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
