Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
