his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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