I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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