Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
