i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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