idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
