Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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