woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
