if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
