After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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