Ambien. No doubt about it.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize