My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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