Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
false alarm, still single
Randomize