I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My feet surprised me
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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