Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
