Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
