No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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