So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
