Even the bartender felt bad for me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
