im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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