I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
