5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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