just tell him i said nine months
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
