it glows. i had to have it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize