Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
