oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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