I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
