does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
