I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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