i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
