But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
