there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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