I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
