it's too hot outside to masturbate.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
