i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
