Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
